What’s in a name?

It would appear we have a question from the midwife in the second row...yes you:

"...So what's up with the name of your blog?"
Good question! We figured the best way to start things off...is with a comment-worthy title! The beauty of the title of our blog is that no matter how you read it...you have the potential to be offended! BRILLIANT, I know! Stay with me here. When the title was first created I was trying to come up with a witty way to say "Yes I am circumcised, and yes I understand that an evening with My Beautiful Wifey's gal-pals will probably lead to the topic of 'penis mutilation' at one point or another in one form or another...but I'm OK with that 'cause I love her!" without actually taking up that much room or saying the 'penis' word in our title.

I walked out of my office with a smug smile on my face, having just come up with the PERFECT blog title, ready to receive the lavish praises and undying kisses that were sure to follow such a pure stroke of genius...and My Beautiful Wifey said "I like Mutilated Wieners better." Needless to say my shoulder is sore from patting MYSELF on the back... Her thoughts were that it seemed like I was being negative right off the bat, in just the title. She read it as Juan and myself being antagonists against the Granola sista's because we have undergone the vaccination for Phimosis. "Just smile and wave boys...just smile and wave." Others can read it as we are fighting the good fight (being the Antagonists, if you will) against the evil, aesthetically driven, (and purely selfish) barbaric act of vaccinating against Phimosis. Yet another group of individuals may say..."What the Heck is Phimosis?"Well I've got a fresh batch of cloth diapers to strip...so my sons UNMUTILATED genitals don't get irritated =Þ, besides who wants to wear a baby with the nasty disposable diaper smell so close!

The PhiWho Vacciwhated Antonios???

So let me kick off our illustrious new blog by saying...We've come a LONG way in just a few short years! How rude of me, the introductions have not been properly made. "We" refers to Mr. Jonathan Noel (using the ingenious pen name of Juan Knowwell), and myself Mr. Gregory Barton III (ok so I made up the III part, but if Jono gets a cool name I wanted one too). The next question sure to be asked...no we are NOT domestic partners, we don't share a bathroom (anymore 'cause he fired me), or have any co-fiscal investments in PETA, Sierra Club, MoveOn.org, or any other rainbow-esque affiliations. Juan is married to...Mrs. Noel (we won't divulge Sarah's name in order to protect the innocent), we'll just call her Parch. My beautiful and ever-fertile Wifey (our address labels say Greg and Janet Barton...but I don't want her name thrown into this) shall hitherto be referred to as "My Beautiful Wifey" in continuous effort to protect the innocent, to maintain a healthy relationship, and keep my Friday nights booked with hot dates.

In following with poor grammar patterns*, I am going to start a new paragraph after having never even touched on the subject line of the previous sentence (for those who can't remember what said subject line was, please refer back to Paragraph 1, Line 1). Some background if you will... When "My Beautiful Wifey" first told me she wanted a natural childbirth, my reaction was to put my foot down and make sure she got a big needle in the back so I wouldn't have to see her in pain. I am now a co-instructor of natural childbirth classes, a part-time Dudela, and can openly say the words "Mucus Plug" and almost not gag. Juan and Parch used to roll their eyes and try to find ANYTHING other than childbirth to discuss. Now Parch will tackle that pregnant woman in Target who is reaching for the Cola and trans...something something not healthy but otherwise yummy treat, and invite her to the playgroup on Tuesday for further indoctrina...EDUCATION...I mean education.

I like the question and answer portion of this blog...because I ask myself the questions I want you to know the answer to, and carefully screen out any others that might offend my mother! So the next question: "WTF?" Well, allow me to elaborate. Juan and I wanted to have a platform from which we could share some of our thoughts and interpretations (from the guys point of view) about the crunchy viewpoints of our loving, and might I add perfect, spouses. I know there are a collection of guys out there that know exactly what I mean when I say that after a nice evening of Ga-Gina (that is a copy-write protected word pronounced Juh-Jie-na) and boob feeding conversations you just want to go do something manly like punch a TV or unload a box of shells into a watermelon!



Stay tuned for more!

*Disclaimer, if you are looking for perfect grammar then please feel free to read the Daily Spectrum...I'm just in this for the fun =Þ